In the Weinstein era

David Brooks, who is always worth reading, advances a three-point sermon on the horror in which we American males find ourselves these days--the Harvey Weinstein era. Sexual predators are being outed all over these days, then hung out to dry (except the one in the White House, but that's another subject).

Brooks says most American males live in three "rooms" in their lives, phases from which he takes the title of this a.m.'s op-ed: "Lovers, Prospectors, and Predators."

Little boys start as lovers, he says, as I did when I was in second grade, in love with my teacher as well as my very first girlfriend. Polygamy is not a crime when you're eight-years-old.

Then comes adolescence, male adolescence. On a fund-raiser for our church's boys' club, we went around picking up junk--honestly, I don't remember what the job was. Among the stuff we picked up were a few novels. I took one home. I'd never read anything like that before. Put me in a sweat, prompted reactions I really liked.

Puberty hits, and we're not at all sure what's down, but we sure enough know what's up. "Sex is a gold nugget, a pleasure, like any other pleasure, except maybe it’s better and the desire for it is stronger," Brooks says. "If you’re straight, women are the people who can give you this pleasure." It's that simple.

What Brooks calls "a small percentage of us" move on to become "predators," men in whom a new concoction brews: "the pleasures of sex get mixed up with the pleasures of power." What characterizes "the predator," Brooks says (pardon my French) is that he could give a shit about who he's "predating." Gone is any sense of the woman herself, whose humanity is simply obliterated in the violent rush to own her. "Harassment is not just sex and it’s not just power; it’s a wicked mixture of the two."

He ends the discussion with woe, what he calls "the collapse of the first room," that innocent time in men's live when they adore before they love. "It would also be nice if there were some positive vision of how sexuality fits into a rich life, how it flourishes in the private sphere as a (very fun) form of deep knowing," he writes.

I can't help myself, so I'm going to say it. I think Brooks is right about our needing "positive visions," but he's dreaming if he thinks good role models will set us right. Think Barack and Michelle--that's a love story. Then think about who's in the White House now. 

I said I wouldn't and I did. Sorry.

David Brooks is always worth reading. But there's more to the story, or so it seems, than some good role models. 

A sweet old guy I once knew in California used to exercise daily when he was my age. On sunny mornings he'd take his bike on a long ride along the coast. He'd pick up a friend, a retired pastor, and the two of them would take the same path. He used to joke about seeing the sights--both of them did, wearing a pair of gamy smiles.  The two of them weren't talking about historical monuments--they were talking about girls. In bikinis. 

Were the they sexual predators? I dare say they never touched anyone but their wives. 

I say no. You may disagree.

Just for a moment, have another look at Brooks's language:  "Harassment is not just sex and it’s not just power; it’s a wicked mixture of the two."

Wicked is an interesting word, used today most often as the title of a Broadway musical. Wicked meant something different in the Old Testament. Maybe it still should.