Morning Thanks

Garrison Keillor once said we'd all be better off if we all started the day by giving thanks for just one thing. I'll try.

Tuesday, October 06, 2015


I don't know how this machine's vast connections determine I'm a Democrat. I'm not. These days, I'm more anti-Republican than I've ever been, but I've never shouldered a sandwich board for either side and probably never will. It's not principle with me, just the way I live.

But some nerd's logarithm determined that I'm more donkey than elephant, because I get loads of political mail asking for money for leftie causes, a never ending stream, in fact, from a gang of beggars that should know better. Every day, in fact. Several times. You know.

Anyway, Office 365 has now bestowed upon me a thoughtful new gift called "Clutter," a culling tool that grabs e-mails right out of my inbox, notes from addresses I've waved off in the past, then sticks those e-mails in a new bushel basket they've created and asks me every few days whether those notes are anything I had thoughts of reading.

Which they're not. Thusly, I now get polite notes from "Clutter" every three days or so, asking me to open their specially constructed folder and scan the list of mail they've so cleverly pre-dumped. Very nice of them. And it's all free.

I've clicked on a couple dozen from Travelocity and Expedia, even more from a couple of shopping sites I should have shut off long ago. But I have to giggle a little every time because whenever Clutter invites me down the road to the dump, there's always--always, always, always--some distinguished names. For instance, the President of the United States.

Click. Gone.

His fine wife.

Click. Gone.

Vice President Joe Biden.

Click, Gone.

That bald confession should bring back a ton of my conservative friends, but be warned that it's nothing personal--I just know perfectly well what POTUS and FLOTUS and Nancy Pelosi and any other crusading liberal militants want--bucks. of course. Trust me, Obama is not inviting me to a Rose Garden beer summit.

I get conservative stuff too. Those big names are even more gleefully tossed. Rince Prebus or Ounce Prevus or whatever his name is--he's even a Packer fan. No matter. Click. Gone.

My very own distinguished congressman, Rep. Steve King, probably had his own Clutter account before Microsoft sent theirs around. He deleted the POTUS already in 08, two terms ago.

But then he deleted me too--click, gone--years ago after fielding the third or fourth letter on gun control or immigration. To him, I'm what they call in big oil, a dry hole. Click. Gone.

Anyway, just thought I'd mention that maybe twice a month with nothing more than my pointer finger I delete the President of the United States. That's not as often as some of my old friends would like, but to them, I'm sure, it's a start. 

Maybe there's hope. But I doubt it. Post Boehner, it's going to get really ugly.

Click. Gone.

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