Once upon a time, a woman I knew came up to me, grabbed my arm, and said "You have to tell my story." Her story is Tracy Leonard's essentially--she and a good friend were both childless, were planning on a book to tell their stories when her friend, miraculously, it seemed, announced her pregnancy. The story she wanted me to tell is how that announcement affected the character who is, in the story, Tracy Leonard. What she wanted me to explain was, plain and simple, her almost unforgivable anger--at everyone and everything. "Communion Circle" carries the story of that woman who grabbed my arm.
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MaryJane Amundson deliberately directed her husband to the seats just behind Will and Tracy Leonard because of what she'd seen yesterday at Hubbards--no matter what words hadn't come from Tracy's lips. She knew what Tracy was feeling. She knew very well because she would have felt it herself, the two of them so close through years of insufferably negative pregnancy tests. MaryJane wanted to sit near Tracy because she had to speak to her, had to touch her.
Pastor Jake De Meester had no clue about Mary Jane’s totally unforeseen pregnancy or Tracy's God-defying jealousy. He knew his parishoners' lives, he thought. He knew that both women wanted children badly, but he also knew about Madeline's unending gossip, Mark's corporate greed, Vangie's blind arrogance, and Brett's flirtation with adultery. When he planned out the service, he knew the church, like every one he'd ever served, was full of sin. But when he planned the service, he wanted to breath new life into an old form because he wanted them all to know and know deeply that the body and blood of Christ was broken and spilled for all of their sin. So that Sunday morning, he had the members of Bethel Church stand and step back to circle the entire sanctuary, forming a ring, a human chain, to celebrate the sacrament.It wasn't the first time Bethel Church had celebrated the sacrament that way. Not everyone liked it, of course; but then any innovation Pastor Jake had attempted at Bethel had encountered some understandable resistance. That particular Sunday morning, he was trying to be sure that everything worked smoothly, that there were no wrinkles in the celebration because he wanted the people of Bethel Church to be more comfortable with change. And the fact is, he didn't see Tracy Leonard walk away from her husband and leave the sanctuary. He was busy with the elements.
MaryJane Amundson, however, couldn't miss Tracy’s leaving, since MaryJane and her husband had taken chairs just behind the Leonards. W So when Anna saw the two of them leave the church as everyone else moved toward the outside walls of the sanctuary, she knew the entire story in a moment, and that's why she left too, unseen.
Tracy Leonard went directly to the Explorer, but found it locked, of course. Will had the keys. She couldn't participate-she was sure of that; but the circle business would have made her not participating far too public. What she'd decided not to do was a private decision between herself and God. It had involved no one else, not even Will. That's why she'd raised her hands and coughed into them. She wanted to make him think a cough was the reason she couldn't stay.
She looked back at the church and saw MaryJane coming from the front doors, thought about running, but knew it would be silly and stupid. She wasn't a child. She was a sinner all right, but she wasn't a child.
MaryJane Amundson said absolutely nothing. She stood beside Tracy for a moment, then reached for her, her arm, her shoulder. She tried to hug her, something she'd wanted to do ever since yesterday's horrible conversation, and Tracy allowed her to, holding herself, however, stiff as plaster.
Neither of them knew any words at all, so there they stood, in the hot sun, holding each other, MaryJane crying, even though she was the one who had every reason in the world to thank God for the miracle that had happened within her.
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