“I say to God my Rock, ‘Why have
you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?’"
Psalm 42:9
You can't help but be struck here by the use of the present tense in this sentence. The psalmist is not reporting some strange moment, a weird epiphany-gone-awry. What he’s saying is, “Whenever
I feel estranged from God, I say to
him, 'Why'?” Every darn time.
If that’s true, then what he says
makes better sense. “I say to God my rock—my fortress in times
of trouble—‘why aren’t you my fortress in times of trouble?’”
It's a hybrid pain only
believers feel, because only someone who knows God as a rock can feel the
terror of sudden quicksand. Only a believer continues to talk to a God who seems to be
out of state.
Makes no sense, really, but then
neither does faith itself, often enough. The paradox of the psalmist’s
supplication is understandable only to someone who knows, who says “been there,
done that.” Like me . . . and you, probably.
And the question, this time at
least, isn’t “how long (as it is in Psalm 13, for instance),” but “why?” “Why”
is a question that also suggests significant distance. We don’t have time for “why”
in the middle of battle. “Why” arises only when the battle doesn’t quit, or when
we begin to look at our wounds and realize the pain.
In “The Wonders of the Invisible
World,” Cotton Mather, the firebrand Puritan prelate, makes great claims for
New England’s founders. They were “a chosen generation,” he says, “so pure as
to disrelish many things which they thought wanted reformation elsewhere, and
yet so peaceable that they embraced a voluntary exile in a squalid, horrid,
American dessert.” They were saints.
But, alas, Mather says, along came
their children, who like “many degenerate plants,” were altogether “otherwise
inclined.” The founders were grain; their children, weeds—that’s what Mather
sees and how he explains why the Devil is rampaging through New England.
Everywhere he looked, after all, he saw witchcraft.
Why? “We have all the reason
imaginable to ascribe it unto the rebuke of heaven for our manifold
apostacies.” Mather, unlike David, appears to know the answer to why. It’s all
our fault. Lo and behold, we’ve departed from righteousness.
But Mather’s explanation fed the
madness that filled prisons around Salem, Massachusetts, and finally took 25
lives. Thank goodness God isn’t Cotton Mather.
All of us want to know why; all of
us seek understanding for what can’t be fully understood. It’s a human thing,
and it’s been a great blessing. Why
is the source question of science, the foundation of education itself. Why is the beginning of knowledge.
But the fear of the Lord is the
beginning of wisdom. And some questions we ask, questions from the heart and
soul of our lives, may not have easy answers, and that’s the phenomena David is
describing. Remember—it has happened more than once. Why have you left me
alone?
And really, that’s the story of the
psalm: even when he doesn’t seem to be our Rock, he is. It’s all here in this
lament, in his pain and his joy. Even when there are no answers, he is.
Makes no sense at all unless you
know it too.
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