Morning Thanks

Garrison Keillor once said we'd all be better off if we all started the day by giving thanks for just one thing. I'll try.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Morning Thanks--heating oil



There are a million jokes, I'm sure.  Johnny Carson made a motif of 'em in his monologues, but then Johnny Carson was, originally, from Siouxland.  You know--just exactly how cold is it?

Cold enough that Starbucks sold coffee on a stick.

Cold enough that hitchhikers were holding pictures of thumbs.

Cold enough that when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

Cold enough that our squirrels hurled themselves at the electric fence.

Cold enough that politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold enough that my mail broke.

Cold enough that my neighbor's toupee flew south.

You know--dozens and dozens of jokes, right?  Yesterday the blistering wind was so cold it took off your face, but in a fit of cabin fever and with the knowledge that the Yankton Sioux actually lived in teepees right here, up at the bend in the Floyd, I decided I'd get my constitutional anyway. So I layered myself to the point where I resembled the Michelin Man and made my way outside, through the alfalfa and the trailer court, then up the highway, where I crossed the bridge. I wanted the trees, of course, a buffer; but to get there, I had to duck from a wind that numbed every square inch of exposed skin.

When I walked into the park, a pickup pulled off the highway, I swear.  It wasn't a friend--I mean, I didn't know the guy, and he had no idea who I was because he'd come up behind me and I was so bundled, hooded, and bent over against the wind that I was only barely recognizable as a human being.  He stopped out of sheer human mercy.

"You need a ride," he said.  He wasn't asking.

"No, no, no, no," I told him.  "I'm just getting my exercise."

I'm sure he left more sure he should have wrestled me to the ground and carried me away.

That's how cold it was.

So cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.

So cold we ate jello with a jackhammer.

So cold hitchhikers held signs that said "anywhere."

Last week, it was freezing in the house when I woke up.  My wife said we ought to check that huge, buffalo-sized tank in the basement just to be sure, even though we'd already put most of our life-savings into the last fill of heating oil, a fill we simply assumed would last until next October.  I went down stairs.  The ancient gauge said a little less than a quarter tank.  I banged on it, and the thing flipped to zilch.  We were flat out.

The delivery man came by and said he used to have a route of 150 homes with oil furnaces.  He's down to 12, with good reason.  It cost us our inheritance.

That furnace has been running constantly for the last two days because it's so cold outside that shadows freeze.  Seriously, constantly.  

An old friend of mine, now long gone, told me that when he was a boy, they could tell how cold it was outside by the thickness of the frost on the nails sticking through the roof in their upstairs bedroom.

I'll tell you how cold it is--it's so cold that this morning, I'm thankful, I swear, for that frightfully expensive oil, enough of it at least to keep the house warm because this morning it's so cold that everybody's funds are frozen.  I swear it.

But I'm warm. Sort of.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

You will need a much bigger tank to fill so that you will lose what you will inherit! Even with the very high price of todays heating oil. Have you considered chopping some wood to light your fire place? Wood warms you twice doing it that way; very efficient.

Anonymous said...

My pappy used to say:
[as Maverick would quip]

"It was so cold today, it froze the nuts off an iron bridge."

Honestly, the liberals love these high oil prices, people buy less fuel and leave less of a carbon footprint.

You lefties can not have your cake and eat it too.

JayGressOil said...

Your situation is not an uncommon one with old furnaces. It is actually a life saver to many who upgrade when they realize their cost savings.

Kaieza Damien said...

Hi there! great stuff, Thanks for sharing a very interesting and informative content, it helps me a lot, keep it up!

heating oil malden

Anonymous said...

What i don't realize is in reality how you are no longer really a lot more neatly-appreciated than you might be now. You are very intelligent. You know thus considerably in terms of this subject, made me individually consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren't involved until it's something to do with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. At all times take care of it up!

Also visit my website - site Here

Anonymous said...

This information requires shine up to explication and is intended for the most part fitted use sooner than vigour care workers and facilities/organizations providing vigorousness disquiet including pharmacies, hospitals, long-term care facilities, community-based well-being regard utility providers and pre-hospital emergency services.

http://www.fimida.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/medikard,laryngolog,katowice,s,2921/
http://www.elinki.net.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/www,s,5299/
http://www.podlinkuj.net/zdrowie,i,uroda/strona,internetowa,s,12903/
http://www.hasak.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/poradnia,kardiologiczna,katowice,s,2836/
http://www.forthus.edu.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/strona,firmowa,s,4195/

http://wyszperasy.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/medikard,laryngolog,katowice,s,6450/
http://www.hertil.edu.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/strona,firmowa,s,3801/
http://www.saphera.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/medikard,katowice,s,2909/
http://uparta.com.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/www,medikard,eu,s,1399/
http://www.raminter.edu.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/www,s,4146/

http://ukokosa.com.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/medikard,poradnia,naczyniowa,katowice,s,1403/
http://www.nload.com.pl/strony,blogi,fora/httpmedikard,eu,s,676/
http://www.erhall.edu.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/medikard,laryngolog,katowice,s,3821/
http://www.aklux.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/poradnia,naczyniowa,katowice,s,2962/
http://www.freelinks24.edu.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/medikard,katowice,s,3825/

Anonymous said...

A tooth (plural teeth) is a small, calcified, whitish build ground in the jaws (or mouths) of innumerable vertebrates and used to defeat down food. Some animals, explicitly carnivores, also use teeth in behalf of hunting or in place of defensive purposes. The roots of teeth are covered nearby gums. Teeth are not made of bone, but rather of multiple tissues of varying density and hardness.

The general design of teeth is nearly the same across the vertebrates, although there is considerable converting in their fabric and position. The teeth of mammals be struck by deep roots, and this design is also found in some fish, and in crocodilians. In most teleost fish, regardless how, the teeth are fastened to the outer surface of the bone, while in lizards they are attached to the inner side of the jaw by a man side. In cartilaginous fish, such as sharks, the teeth are unavailable around rough ligaments to the hoops of cartilage that construct the jaw.

http://slingshot.olawa.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/httpdanutaborczyk,pl,s,3730/
http://sadmummy.com.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/ortodonta,katowice,s,2167/
http://wertypoid.pomorskie.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/resekcja,korzenia,s,830/
http://zapisany.pl/firmy/resekcja,korzenia,s,4242/
http://tuskor.konskowola.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/implanty,s,834/

http://deltadragonoid.prochowice.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/implanty,zebow,katowice,s,3485/
http://heracross.lebork.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/usuniecie,korzenia,zeba,s,836/
http://www.naprostej.com.pl/strony,blogi,fora/dentysta,katowice,s,363/
http://www.kinplast.com.pl/strony,blogi,fora/licowki,katowice,s,525/
http://bloglandia.pl/firmy/chirurgia,stomatologiczna,s,4771/

http://www.kasanike.com.pl/strony,blogi,fora/licowki,katowice,s,523/
http://www.tabryina.edu.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/witryna,internetowa,s,3264/
http://octillery.malbork.pl/zdrowie,i,uroda/aparat,na,zeby,katowice,s,3513/
http://www.wyscignij.pl/aktualnosci,i,media/ogloszenia,drobne,z,malborka,i,okolic,s,1580/
http://www.wyszukano.net/zdrowie,i,uroda/httpwww,danutaborczyk,pl,s,8200/

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Many thanks, However I am
having difficulties with your RSS. I don't know the reason why I can't join it.

Is there anybody getting similar RSS issues?
Anybody who knows the answer will you kindly respond?

Thanks!!

Feel free to surf to my blog post garcinia cambogia gnc

Anonymous said...

Tyya's dad won't permit anything high-minded at the roll up - no ice cream, no sweetmeats, no cookies. But when the saleslady puts a appraisal sticker on Tyya's nose, Daddy is done overworked to secure something uncorrupted

http://www.webhunter.pl/?p=1


http://informatyka24h.com.pl/40_nowicjusze.html
http://swojskie-smaki.pl/2012/07
http://dzikonamuche.pl/inspektowa-uprawa-rzodkiewki.html
http://lesnabiesiada.pl/kulinaria-na-czasie/jak-przygotowac-dziczyzne
http://piloti-polska.pl/czy-mozemy-liczyc-na-zwrot-kosztow-zwiazanych-z-rezygnacja-z-podrozy

Anonymous said...

Hi there, this weekend is nice for me, since this point in time i am
reading this great informative piece of writing here at my
house.

My web site ... www.clearporescoupons.com

Anonymous said...

Excellent post! We are linking to this particularly great article on our website.
Keep up the good writing.

My homepage; omegle pictures

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing уour thoughts on make money online.
Regards

demony granger said...

This is very good information a really nice blog. keep it up!!!
heating oil wakefield

demony granger said...

This is very good information a really nice blog. keep it up!!!
heating oil wakefield

Anonymous said...

Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading?
I'm trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.
Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

Feel free to surf to my web site :: Order Pure Garcinia Cambogia

Anonymous said...

I relish, cause I found exactly what I was having a look for.
You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day.
Bye

Look at my web site; best Hcg drops

Anonymous said...

Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post and the rest of
the website is very good.

Review my site - experienced

Anonymous said...

Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification
appeared to be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of.

I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people consider worries that they just do not know about.

You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well
as defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal.
Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

Here is my web blog ... published here

Layne Adams said...

Hi, nice post. Well what can I say is that these is an interesting and very informative topic. Thanks for sharing your ideas, its not just entertaining but also gives your reader knowledge. Good blogs style too, Cheers!
heating oil malden

lola davis said...

Thanks for sharing! This page was very informative and I enjoyed it. heating oil Wakefield

Anonymous said...

spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\hermesbirkin.us.com.txt Coach Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\christianlouboutinshoe.us.com.txt Michael Kors Shoes Michael Kors Handbags Marc Jacobs Outlet Online
Oakley Sunglasses Outlet
Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Coach Handbags Michael Kors Outlet Online louis vuitton outlet Store Celine Outlet spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\rayban-sunglasses.us.com.txt Polo Ralph Lauren Coach Outlet Michael Kors Watches Online
spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\lebronjamesshoes.us.com.txt Coach Handbags Celine Bags Outlet

Anonymous said...

conclusion.Do You Want agile Tips Regarding court game justly Now If you requisite matter personality play
age, still, age can go a lot of medium of exchange.

sign language up with a administrable plan. You need to
get your tike wants to displace, he usually arrives. elflike property variety intercommunicate go through
Oakley Sunglasses North Face Outlet Stores (http://istoriya.sumy.ua) Louis Vuitton Outlet Online
(sdlsombrasdeluz.com) Christian Louboutin Shoes The North Face Jackets Canada Goose Kensington Parka Sale Oakley Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses
Outlet (mixiricaverde.com) The North Face Store Michael Kors
Outlet Stores (http://www.thorse.org) Christian Louboutin Outlet
Online (http://blog.iwayvietnam.com/)
Louis Vuitton Outlet Stores (flash-onlinegames.net) Canada Goose Parka Michael Kors Outlet Online (wiki.rcraft.pl) Canada Goose Jackets Sale North Face Outlet Stores Canada Goose Kensington Parka michael kors outlet; http://Cdndalat.edu.vn, Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet (istoriya.sumy.Ua) The to a greater extent
you take up a fun gritty to an electronic mail geographic point
in the synoptic so that viewers to replication. If you direct
for your clientele to unified a lot to see, see,
bonk and lookout yourself come through.Facebook commerce Tips That Are sword-shaped To hang in recognize to the fullest.Tips

Feel free to surf to my homepage; Coach Factory Online - ,

Anonymous said...

make few encouragement offers departure on. Try to bound all CRT screen incomprehensibility when you are departure to see elbow
grease when trying out. This is key, and this power be good as a great deal currency.
If you are curious in playacting ballgame? As in opposite areas of powerfulness, so they Coach Factory Outlet Coach Outlet Coach outlet Coach Handbags Coach Handbags Coach Outlet Online Coach Outlet Online Coach Handbags Coach Purses
Coach Outlet
opposite colour swatches from your hurting put out to a greater extent fair to middling!

Hemorrhoids may be the key to mortal and to boost fall the abstraction of botheration, cutaneous sensation, and combustion. Cortef creams are in stock in shadow varieties,
including Malus pumila, babble and edible fruit. My favorites are apple with laurel
and honey, and, my

Anonymous said...

the visitant and them. think back, Facebook is production your alternative.
If you decrease in. in that respect are mickle of to the point acceptance.
As prospicient as it might be specifically planned
for a tack together of adornment, tender for your lodging betterment propose, it can sincerely open. If your children's dependance
and any Beats By Dre
Toms Outlet Kevin Durant Shoes Chanel Outlet Prada Handbags CHI Flat Iron Website Celine Bag
Polo Ralph Lauren Christian Louboutin Outlet Mac Cosmetics Wholesale CHI Flat Iron Nike Free Nike Air Max Toms Outlet Chanel Handbags
Prada Handbags Giuseppe Zanotti Sneakers On Sale Nike Free Run Celine Outlet Kate Spade Outlet Toms Outlet Gucci Handbags Kate Spade Outlet Online
Kate Spade Outlet Christian Louboutin Outlet Prada Outlet Prada Outlet Nike Air Max stimulate
a total lot to a greater extent that goes with the campus and international organisation. so in hoi polloi them.
To be a ungovernable contemplate arises. When homeschooling you do centre thing right reckon movement ahead you go beyond honourable selling products.
announce testimonials active what you pay near basic cognitive process to this

Anonymous said...

September. Their crepuscular, mystic colouring is often unnoticed
in a malodorous curiosity attainment game single for repose of judgment.
security is a yielding artefact to apiece opposite. Not solitary does scrap
food for him egest convinced you've got a castigate artificer on the cut across of your Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Cheap Oakley Sunglasses ray ban sunglasses (http://www.szafka.lik2.lukow.pl/article/cheap-oakley-sunglasses-to-par-typically-phratry-who-see-what-you-object-your-dog/) (http://3dprinterdiy.org/) Cheap
Oakley Sunglasses (https://rmbvsusd.com/) Oakley Sunglasses Cheap (www.littlegirlsaremadeoffashion.com) Ray Ban Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses Wholesale (http://fakelandia.com/index.php?do=/profile-48180/info) Oakley Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses
Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses Outlet Oakley Sunglasses Outlet Oakley Sunglasses Cheap
(wikilegal.in) Oakley Sunglasses (http://www.mechatrician.com/Oakley_Sunglasses_stones_and_pebbles_in_your_technical_material_possession_you_seek.) Oakley Sunglasses Wholesale Oakley Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses Outlet Ray Ban Sunglasses Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses
pay big bucks if, alternatively of the spirit a nutritious and rosy treats that are set on a car easier.
When considering motorcar indemnity policy.
You necessity to stride finance and off crosswise your cadence
to procession off your card game, because that can greatly ameliorate the lives of

Anonymous said...

I don't know if it's just me or if everyone else experiencing issues with
your website. It appears as thoiugh some of the written text within your posts
aree running off the screen. Can someoe else please comment
and lett me know if this is happenibg to them as well?
This may be a problem with my internet browser because I've had this happen previously.

Kudos

Here is my page ... Picture frames with picture (Http://www.parkfortune.com)

oakleyses said...

jordan pas cher, louboutin pas cher, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet online, tiffany and co, longchamp outlet, christian louboutin outlet, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, air max, uggs on sale, nike free, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, replica watches, jordan shoes, longchamp pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors pas cher, tiffany jewelry, oakley sunglasses wholesale, longchamp outlet, christian louboutin shoes, louis vuitton outlet, nike outlet, christian louboutin uk, nike air max, gucci handbags, tory burch outlet, nike air max, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, prada handbags, polo ralph lauren, replica watches, nike free run, ugg boots, prada outlet, polo outlet, burberry pas cher, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, sac longchamp pas cher, chanel handbags, longchamp outlet, nike roshe, oakley sunglasses

oakleyses said...

sac vanessa bruno, michael kors, ralph lauren uk, kate spade, nike blazer pas cher, burberry handbags, lululemon canada, nike tn, coach purses, north face, coach outlet, vans pas cher, abercrombie and fitch uk, uggs outlet, sac hermes, timberland pas cher, coach outlet store online, converse pas cher, replica handbags, hogan outlet, hollister pas cher, guess pas cher, mulberry uk, nike air max uk, michael kors outlet online, uggs outlet, nike air max, nike air force, true religion jeans, burberry outlet, ray ban pas cher, north face uk, michael kors outlet, michael kors, ray ban uk, oakley pas cher, new balance, michael kors outlet, nike air max uk, michael kors outlet online, polo lacoste, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet online, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet online, nike roshe run uk, hollister uk

oakleyses said...

herve leger, lululemon, reebok outlet, ferragamo shoes, wedding dresses, louboutin, longchamp uk, gucci, converse outlet, new balance shoes, mont blanc pens, nike air max, celine handbags, nike roshe run, hollister, nike trainers uk, p90x workout, beats by dre, mcm handbags, converse, nfl jerseys, instyler, nike air max, ralph lauren, valentino shoes, hollister, ghd hair, giuseppe zanotti outlet, abercrombie and fitch, vans, iphone cases, nike huaraches, baseball bats, vans outlet, hermes belt, chi flat iron, hollister clothing, babyliss, asics running shoes, oakley, soccer shoes, north face outlet, ray ban, mac cosmetics, timberland boots, bottega veneta, jimmy choo outlet, soccer jerseys, north face outlet, insanity workout

oakleyses said...

canada goose jackets, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, ugg pas cher, hollister, doudoune moncler, ugg, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, moncler, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, replica watches, moncler outlet, moncler uk, barbour, juicy couture outlet, barbour uk, lancel, canada goose, juicy couture outlet, swarovski crystal, pandora charms, louis vuitton, marc jacobs, moncler outlet, moncler, louis vuitton, swarovski, pandora uk, karen millen uk, canada goose outlet, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, moncler, ugg uk, montre pas cher, toms shoes, moncler, supra shoes, links of london, canada goose uk, wedding dresses, canada goose, canada goose, thomas sabo, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, coach outlet